STEALING LAND FROM OUR NEIGHBOR (mp3)

A former Boulder judge and mayor, his real estate lawyer wife, use their inside knowledge to "steal, fair and sqaure," (Vincent Carrol, Rocky Mountain News) a third of their neighbor's plot of land. Why? So the judge and his wife can have a better view of the Flatirons from their back yard. >> MORE INFO

EDIE AND DICK (The Grinch Theme) (mp3)

A former Boulder judge and mayor, his real estate lawyer wife, use their inside knowledge to "steal, fair and sqaure," (Vincent Carrol, Rocky Mountain News) a third of their neighbor's plot of land. Why? So the judge and his wife can have a better view of the Flatirons from their back yard. >> MORE INFO

THIS LAND BELONGS TO DON & SUSIE (mp3)

A former Boulder judge and mayor, his real estate lawyer wife, use their inside knowledge to "steal, fair and sqaure," (Vincent Carrol, Rocky Mountain News) a third of their neighbor's plot of land. Why? So the judge and his wife can have a better view of the Flatirons from their back yard. >> MORE INFO

VOORHIS, RAMOS AND CAMPION (mp3)

Denver-based ICE agent Corey Voorhis is suffering political persecution at the hands of Governor Bill Ritter and his minions . Peter Boyles is championing Voorhis' cause and wrote the first draft of the lyrics that would become this "parody" of Dion's "Abraham, Martin and John." >> MORE INFO

ME & MR. JONES (mp3)

Not only did Mike Jones have a long-term relationship with fallen pastor Ted Haggard, it turns out that the infamous Senator Larry Craig (of the Wide Stance) got to "know" mike too! Small world isn't it? >> MORE INFO

SONGS ABOUT DENVER, COLORADO - fun in the sanctuary city

THE P.C. BAN ( mp3)

Kohl Elementary School, bowing to ridiculous political correctness pressure, replaced the traditional Halloween celebration with a dull and lifeless "Fall Party." Part of the "reasoning" behind the decision was that children whose families could not afford costumes would have their feelings hurt. Since I used to go trick or treating with a grocery bag over my head, I couldn't relate. >> MORE INFO

MEAN MAYOR HICK (mp3)

For reasons better left undiscussed, Peter suggested I do a version of "You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch" with Denver's Mayor Hickenlooper as The Grinch. Nothing says holiday cheer like a swift kick to the jinglebells, so once more, His Honor Chickenpooper gets the sharp end of the yuletide stick from Messrs. Boyles & Wrege. (Another rare case of stealing a karaoke backing track - mea culpa.) >>MORE INFO

"MIKE & DIANE" (mp3)

The Denver papers are none too kind to Peter Boyles and are in full support of illegal immigration. Two writers in particular, Mike Litwin (Rocky Mountain News) and Diane Carmen (Denver Post), seem to have a soft spot in both their hearts and their heads for people breaking into the country and taking jobs and benefits. Peter noticed that their columns, on the same day, were nearly identical and asked me to do a ditty about 'em. >> MORE INFO

DICK KRECK (mp3)

Dick Kreck is a columnist for the Denver Post who writes about the media (and beer). I have no problem with his beer pieces, but he took a swipe at the Federico song thusly: "Peter, as a friend, here's my advice: Lose that "Federico to the Rescue" parody. It's lame, it's off-key and, worst, it's not funny." Them's fightin' words as we used to say in Kentucky, which is usually when I would start to run. In this case, I started to sing. Peter suggested "King Tut" as a basis for a jab back at Dick.
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FAST TRACKS (IT'S A FAT TAX) (mp3)

As a former board member of the RTD, Jon Caldera knows when things stink worse than diesel fumes. He was fuming about FasTracks and asked me to do a song about it.My friend who does not want to be identified played the wonderful Beatlesque guitar while I played bass. (His name rhymes witih "Ed.")

OZZY & THE MASTERS - MOONING THE PEPSI CENTER (mp3)

Can thousands of Ozzy fans be wrong? Well, yes. Don's uncanny resemblance to Ozzy Osbourne prompted a prank in which The Masters took "Ozzy" around Denver for on-air adventures and culminated ("the end") with mooning the Ozzfest crowd at the Pepsi Center from our 25 foot white stretch limo.
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PETER BOYLES
Feb., 2005

COUNTERFEIT INDIAN (mp3)

Radical Boulder CU professor Ward Churchill swatted the wasp's nest when he compared 9/11 Twin Tower victims to "little Eichmanns." Subequently, almost everyone else involved in various CU controversies has lost his or her job while Ward Churchill got a raise. Only in Boulder.

WARD CHURCHILL (mp3)

Since Prof. Churchill considered himself an Indian (actually he's Dutch) I considered Hank Williams' hit "Kaw Liga" (about a wooden indian) to be appropriate.
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THE LEGEND OF EL DILDO BANDIDO (mp3)

The song, one of two on the subject, sings the praises of patriot Bob Rowan, (aka El Dildo Bandido) who took it upon himself to pull the penises from The Boulder Public Library and replace them with an American Flag, which the Library Director had refused to fly, post 9/11 since, in her words, it would "...be offensive to some people." I guess the dildos weren't?

MARCELEE GRALAPP(mp3)

This is the Boulder Library Director who started all the hubbub with her anti-American practices. The controversy eventually caused her to retire early, albeit with a six-figure pension. You gotta love Boulder.
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TWO YEARS, NO JUSTICE, FOURTEEN ANNOYING SONGS (list of 14 mp3 files)

Over the course of the two-year JonBenet Ramsey murder investigation, Don provided musical commentary on the happenings in the case as they hit the headlines to the tunes of the oldies but goldies.
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PLEASE COME TO DENVER (AMIGO) (mp3)

Denver's Mayor Hickenlooper for governor? At the time of this song's writing he was on the fence about whether or not to run, so Peter and I felt he needed a campaign song to help him decide.. >> MORE INFO

JOSE' CAN'T YOU SEE? (mp3)

A hasty response to "Nuestro Himno," the "Spanish version" of "The Star Spangled Banner," sung by some in honor of the nationwide illegal alien protest May 1, 2006. If they just would have sung it in Spanish, that would be okay. Changing the words pissed me off - especially once I read them. "Nuestro Himno," was conceived and produced by a British guy named Adam Kidron. It was curiously adopted by certain factions of the Aztlan Movement. >> MORE INFO

LIVING OFF AMERICA(mp3)

A rare use of a karoke track in order to get this song to air the day Presidente Bush gave his "increased border security/amnesty too" speech May 15th, 2006. The lyrics mention the socialist/anarchist/revolutionary forces behind the pawns, I mean illegals: La Raza, The Reconquista Movement, and the Aztlan crazies. >> MORE INFO

FEDERICO TO THE RESCUE (mp3)

A Forced to leave a White House cabinet position because of controversy surrounding some money Federico Peña received while cramming the DIA deal down Denver's throat, he's been laying low. However, the "Day Without an Immigrant" march brought him back in the limelight. It's my gut feel the guy is going to get back into the race - because a politico like Peña doesn't like to be away from the public trough for too long. >> MORE INFO

LA CUCA GOTCHA! (mp3)

Peter interviewed the fellow who runs www.WeHireAliens.com, a site where citizens can report local businesses that employ illegals. He asked me to do this short stinger for the occasion. I particularly enjoy the will whoop at the end.
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DIANA (DeGETTE) (mp3)

Congresswoman DeGette works tirelessly for the illegal immigrants of the First District of Colorado. As a co-sponsor of the STRIVE Act, (also known as the Flake - Gutiérrez bill), Ms. DeGette's actions and words make it clear she favors the "undocumented work seeker" over tax-paying American citizens. And so, we sing.
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(Who Ya Gonna Call? BILL RITTER! (mp3)

Congresswoman Colorado Governor Bill Ritter pulled a fast one on the citizens when, with one hand vetoed HB 1313, which would have made it easier for illegal aliens to get a driver's license, then with the other ushered through HR 204-13, which pretty much does the same thing.
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STAIRWAY TO UNEMPLOYMENT (mp3)

C Basalt, Colorado citizen Bruno Kirchenwitz likes to wear a "U.S. Border Patrol" hat around town (he doesn't wear it at work). Some Mexican gang-bangers, in a premeditated attempted murder, shot five 30 caliber shells into the 7-Eleven where Bruno works. The Basalt police waited two weeks to pursue the suspect, whome they knew - and of course he got away as they wanted him to. Meanwhile, Bruno was fired for "egregious customer interactions."
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